Christmas day….and I am all alone


Shared custody agreements, sigh.  I don’t really like Christmas, Thanksgiving is my holiday.  So I spend Christmas day all alone.

I used to love Christmas, putting up the Nativity and watching the kids get so excited to be the one chosen to lay the baby in the creche. Putting up the tree and seeing the kids eyes light up when the lights in the house were turned off and the lights on the tree were turned on.  Finding the exact toy that was the kids ultimate desire.  As time went on the excitement was sucked out of me, every time I was told I was spending too much, every time I was chastised that I was too generous to those all around me.  Every year that went by when I asked for only one thing and was denied, time after time, Christmas is no longer where my heart is at.

So when time to negotiate how the minor children spent the holiday season I chose Thanksgiving and gave up Christmas and New Years.  I make Christmas Eve my family time for the holidays.  I make a nice dinner and we exchange our gifts.  I invite all my kids and for the first time in years all of them were able to be here.  With the adult kids getting older I know the time will come that they will have other obligations that may keep them away, so I extend my invitation and wait.  As I told my soon to be grandson’s daddy, I will extend my invitation and my only request is an RSVP to know whether to set a place at the table or not.  I will not guilt anyone to attend, that is not what the holidays are about.

Today I am home, nursing a rich food hangover!  Last night was so fun, eating a scrumptiously rich dinner, a rib roast, potatoes mashed with heavy cream, yams and marshmallows, steamed crab legs, green beans and pounds of fresh vegetables all cut up and piled on a tray.  Then exchanging our gifts from Mom to the kids, the box of kid’s gifts from one to another are stacked by the door to take to their dad’s to keep him from getting butt sore.

It is sad that we all still tiptoe around, doing what the kid’s dad wants to avoid hearing his wrath.  So I don’t get to see if the gifts that my minor kids and I chose to give to their adult siblings were spot on like we thought.  In the end when all my kids are adults it will be interesting to see where there hearts lead them to be.

Christmas alone is not all bad.  I spend the day spoiling myself; a cup of coffee, sappy movie on tv, no one to please except little ol’ me!!

Merry Christmas y’all, hope all your wishes come true!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: