I have five kids. I did the basic sex talk with each of them as they were old enough. Emphasized safety and maturity, imparted my take on morality but ultimately left the decision of when to have sex up to them. I let them know I waited until I was married to have sex, their father did not. I let them know if they ever wanted to talk or ask questions I was available.
My youngest is twelve and I have gave her the basic talk already since she now has her menstrual cycle. She had a sleep over this weekend with two friends. One of her friends plopped down next to me and asked “Can I ask you sex questions?” Wow, well alrighty then. I believe children’s questions should be answered as truthfully and honestly and age appropriately as possible. So her first question was “Is it fun?” Well, yes. Second question “doesn’t it hurt”, yes, the first time it can. “How bad?” It all depends on the person. I stopped the questions there and told them I thought they were too young to even be contemplating sex.
The main questioner assured me she reads a lot and already knew a lot but she wanted answers from a real person. My daughter was somewhat mortified that her friend was asking these questions. And my son had his headphones firmly over his ears so he didn’t have to hear any of it.
The questions continued, “what sounds do people make?” Depends on the person, some are loud some aren’t. Then she shocked me asking “What does cum taste like?” OMG, I was floored. My daughter begged me to not answer that question out loud. The girl kept saying just tell me. I hedged with the it depends on the person and what they eat, but that didn’t satisfy her. So I typed the word salty on my notepad. That seemed to satisfy her and off the girls went to giggle over the jump scare videos they enjoy watching.
I sat in the living room thinking about the 15 minutes that had just transpired. What was this child reading and why weren’t her parents monitoring what she was reading? She had an iPad so I am guessing she is reading and watching videos on the internet. It’s sad that she isn’t enjoying her young life without the pressure in her head of knowing all this information and probably wanting (I hope not) to explore these things she is reading and watching.
She came back into the living room without the other girls with one last question, “can you do a 69 with three people?” Wow, I answered honestly, I do not know.
I am floored that 12 year old girls even have these thoughts running through their minds. I didn’t know what 69 was until after I was married. And the word cum I didn’t know until I was 18. I am hoping that my children will continue to come to me to ask me questions. I hope that I am doing a good job putting forth my morals that sex should wait. Should it wait until marriage? That is for each person to decide but in this day and age, knowing what I know now, if push came to shove, I would say say no. I do think that while in high school that sex should be off the table.
My ex hated when I said this to my kids but I think it is an accurate assessment of how young men and young women think about sex. Young men go into sex thinking with their dick and girls go into sex thinking with their heart. So until both parties are thinking with the brains and intellect God gave them, sex should be off the table.